Will You Consider Dating Another Race?
I haven't eaten bologna since I was a grade school girl. My mom used to tell me to go into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich when I was bugging her for snacks during summer vacation. If I wanted to be fancy, I would take that bologna and cut some slits in the side to keep it from curling up and fry it up in a pan. Back then that was good eating, but for some reason, the taste of that bologna, fried or otherwise, just started to turn me off. Now, you are probably wondering where this is going.
Some of you may be offended by this. I am not going to be politically correct with the next statement so be warned. I have never really been a fan of white men. Somewhere, a long time ago, someone either live or on T.V. made a joke that said something to the effect that white men smell like bologna. Well I’m ashamed to say this, but I really bought into that idea. Yes I went to school with people of all races, had a Caucasian roommate and currently work with people of all ethnicities. I will admit that I don’t have any lingering scent of bologna wafting over my cubicle walls. It’s just an idea that has always made the thought of being intimate with anyone other than a black man unappealing.
Aside from that, I will be frank and tell you that I am just not attracted to men of other persuasions with the same intensity that I have for my brothers. I’m in love with my own beautiful brown skin so I find it only natural that I’m attracted to another’s whose smooth mocha almond fudge skin looks just as sweet. I have never really been open minded to interracial dating...well let me qualify that statement. I don't think that I have had a problem with other people dating someone of a different race. It's just that my own preference has been to date men of color. In all of my dreams where Prince Charming charges in to rescue me on the proverbial white horse, the prince always sported a high top fade...ok these dreams were back in 6th grade, but you get the point. My husband was always going to be a tall dark Hershey Bar and we were going to make little Hershey kiss babies and live happily ever after.
Interestingly enough though, these days we are faced with what I’m sure you have heard many women call the “man shortage”. There just aren’t that many available Prince Charmings roaming around and if they are, half of them don’t even own horses.
A few weeks ago a group of us friends got together to discuss relationships between men and women. Of course there was much debate and disagreement between the men and women in the group on damn near every topic we touched. The men refused to believe that there is a man shortage. They say we think there’s a shortage because we are just too damned picky. We women say that if you just look at sheer numbers in Atlanta you will see that there really is a mathematical shortage by the time you subtract the switch hitters and the convicts.
Anyway, one female in the group said that she was open to dating any race. It’s needless to say that this topic is pretty taboo in our community. We don’t like to broach the subject of interracial dating. The men in the group definitely were not going to chime in on this one. No black man in his right mind would dare speak of dating anyone other than a sista among a group of black women and expect to get away unscathed. African Americans are familiar with the centuries of deeply imbedded hurts that has carried over from the past wrong doings committed against us. There’s no need to beat that long dead horse.
Newer still is the hurt that the sistas feel every time they see a successful super star brotha choosing to turn to our fairer skinned counterparts after we have helped them to achieve their stardom. Even more common is the number of women out there that have been abandoned by their men to face life alone when times got hard. Then these same black women have to deal with being ogled and even propositioned by men of other races only to be told that a public relationship would be out of the question because neither the families nor society would accept it. At times it seems like the black woman is the most hated creature on earth and she has the right to feel this way when faced with these common scenarios.
Now that we have everything out in the open, here is the twist. There are a lot of young, successful and beautiful young women out there that are sitting at home each night without a man of any kind at their side. Many of these women that would never have considered dating someone not of their own race are now taking a second look at the single man across from them with a different hair texture who may have never caught their attention in the past. More and more women are looking at the attributes of other races and disregarding the physical characteristics that are different from their own in favor of the deeper emotional gifts that a person may have to offer. After all, isn’t it true that we are all human and desire the same things? Isn’t this the mantra of any civil rights campaign that has ever existed, that every man woman and child regardless of color, sex or creed are all looking for equality, acceptance and respect. When we dig down to the deeper root of all things, we are all looking for security, companionship and love.
Maybe in this age of political correctness and diversity training, we all need to realize that people of all races, men and women could stand to learn something from each other. Speaking politically incorrectly, I must say that you are attracted to who you are attracted. If you like blondes with big boobs, you probably won’t be beating down the doors of the sista with the afro puffs walking in the park. And I know that when it comes to men, if you like his rich dark chocolate sexiness, you won’t be too anxious to chase down the Asian guy that lives one floor below you in your apartment building. It’s all about open mindedness. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that even though I haven ‘t had that famous luncheon meat with the red rind since my grade school days, it may be time to try “Something New”. After all, who wants to die alone waiting for a juvenile dream guy that may not exist?
All in all I stand by my love of that special dark semi sweet candy all day, every day. I’m not out shopping for cold cuts, and it may never happen but I have to keep my mind open. If someone different approaches to offer me up half of their sandwich, I may just need to reconsider.
That bologna on rye with a little spicy mustard may turn out to be pretty tasty.
Some of you may be offended by this. I am not going to be politically correct with the next statement so be warned. I have never really been a fan of white men. Somewhere, a long time ago, someone either live or on T.V. made a joke that said something to the effect that white men smell like bologna. Well I’m ashamed to say this, but I really bought into that idea. Yes I went to school with people of all races, had a Caucasian roommate and currently work with people of all ethnicities. I will admit that I don’t have any lingering scent of bologna wafting over my cubicle walls. It’s just an idea that has always made the thought of being intimate with anyone other than a black man unappealing.
Aside from that, I will be frank and tell you that I am just not attracted to men of other persuasions with the same intensity that I have for my brothers. I’m in love with my own beautiful brown skin so I find it only natural that I’m attracted to another’s whose smooth mocha almond fudge skin looks just as sweet. I have never really been open minded to interracial dating...well let me qualify that statement. I don't think that I have had a problem with other people dating someone of a different race. It's just that my own preference has been to date men of color. In all of my dreams where Prince Charming charges in to rescue me on the proverbial white horse, the prince always sported a high top fade...ok these dreams were back in 6th grade, but you get the point. My husband was always going to be a tall dark Hershey Bar and we were going to make little Hershey kiss babies and live happily ever after.
Interestingly enough though, these days we are faced with what I’m sure you have heard many women call the “man shortage”. There just aren’t that many available Prince Charmings roaming around and if they are, half of them don’t even own horses.
A few weeks ago a group of us friends got together to discuss relationships between men and women. Of course there was much debate and disagreement between the men and women in the group on damn near every topic we touched. The men refused to believe that there is a man shortage. They say we think there’s a shortage because we are just too damned picky. We women say that if you just look at sheer numbers in Atlanta you will see that there really is a mathematical shortage by the time you subtract the switch hitters and the convicts.
Anyway, one female in the group said that she was open to dating any race. It’s needless to say that this topic is pretty taboo in our community. We don’t like to broach the subject of interracial dating. The men in the group definitely were not going to chime in on this one. No black man in his right mind would dare speak of dating anyone other than a sista among a group of black women and expect to get away unscathed. African Americans are familiar with the centuries of deeply imbedded hurts that has carried over from the past wrong doings committed against us. There’s no need to beat that long dead horse.
Newer still is the hurt that the sistas feel every time they see a successful super star brotha choosing to turn to our fairer skinned counterparts after we have helped them to achieve their stardom. Even more common is the number of women out there that have been abandoned by their men to face life alone when times got hard. Then these same black women have to deal with being ogled and even propositioned by men of other races only to be told that a public relationship would be out of the question because neither the families nor society would accept it. At times it seems like the black woman is the most hated creature on earth and she has the right to feel this way when faced with these common scenarios.
Now that we have everything out in the open, here is the twist. There are a lot of young, successful and beautiful young women out there that are sitting at home each night without a man of any kind at their side. Many of these women that would never have considered dating someone not of their own race are now taking a second look at the single man across from them with a different hair texture who may have never caught their attention in the past. More and more women are looking at the attributes of other races and disregarding the physical characteristics that are different from their own in favor of the deeper emotional gifts that a person may have to offer. After all, isn’t it true that we are all human and desire the same things? Isn’t this the mantra of any civil rights campaign that has ever existed, that every man woman and child regardless of color, sex or creed are all looking for equality, acceptance and respect. When we dig down to the deeper root of all things, we are all looking for security, companionship and love.
Maybe in this age of political correctness and diversity training, we all need to realize that people of all races, men and women could stand to learn something from each other. Speaking politically incorrectly, I must say that you are attracted to who you are attracted. If you like blondes with big boobs, you probably won’t be beating down the doors of the sista with the afro puffs walking in the park. And I know that when it comes to men, if you like his rich dark chocolate sexiness, you won’t be too anxious to chase down the Asian guy that lives one floor below you in your apartment building. It’s all about open mindedness. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that even though I haven ‘t had that famous luncheon meat with the red rind since my grade school days, it may be time to try “Something New”. After all, who wants to die alone waiting for a juvenile dream guy that may not exist?
All in all I stand by my love of that special dark semi sweet candy all day, every day. I’m not out shopping for cold cuts, and it may never happen but I have to keep my mind open. If someone different approaches to offer me up half of their sandwich, I may just need to reconsider.
That bologna on rye with a little spicy mustard may turn out to be pretty tasty.
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3 comments:
I want to first of all apologize to all black women for the failure of black men (as a whole) to step up to the plate and be the men to black women they are suppose to be. With that said, I encourage ANY woman to find love and happiness in any shape, form, or fashion. Why should woman continue to deny themselves fulfillment in their live, happiness, or a family, because black men increasingly continue to fail in their roles? Society will judge you no matter whether the man is white, in a wheelchair, cross-eyed, short, or whatever. When love comes knocking at your door after waiting for so long, why turn it away, because its not as you imagined it would be? Don't worry about the short appearances in public where you get all the stares from everyone. Simply think about the long hours of intimacy and warmth you will spend together at home TOGETHER.
Well said...
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